About writing

Remember when this is the place for expression of feelings, ideas, thoughts and memories? 

Remember when the excitement to write out about a particular subject  makes you can’t wait to go home and open your laptop and let it all out? 

Remember that? 

This used to be the pages of a human being’s life. A teenager to be exact. 

It was fun. Liberating as if drawing on the living room’s wall when you’re 4 and no one was looking. 

But when life took a turn, I suddenly felt like my life is mundane. My life isn’t much of an adventure like everybody else’s. 

Something striking intrigued this boring person the other day. I watched the movie ‘The Book Thief’ again. I got attached with the movie until I decided to read the book which the movie is based upon.  In the book, the story unfolds around the point of view of the grim reaper where due to events of WW1, he became very occupied with his job. 

“In my job, I’m always seeing humans at their best, and their worst. I see their ugliness, and their beauty. And I wonder how the same thing can be both”

I realised that the two extremes is originated from allowing one-self with risks, hardships, diffculties to achieve one’s goal. The implications are as said. And also their decision to empower the beauty or ugliness within themselves I believe is one the factors. 

But what about playing safe? What about wanting to continously having  that surety? 

Even plants don’t stay the same forever. They either grow taller, produce yields or die. 

So, how about risk adverse and risk averse? 

Life obviously does not cater both worlds. 

However, life does get better for late bloomers. 

Is it? 

But still the idea of taking risks intimidate most people, if not, a group of people. 

Like it or not, to grow, is to make decisions that may have risks in it. 

Risks that are acceptable or logic to one-self. 

After all, this ‘life’ is not the destination. It’s like hoping on a train to reach to another eternal destination. 

I just have to make the best of this train ride. I might just sleep until the end of the journey, or making life in the train better or exciting and making preparations upon my arrival. 

And I forget this a lot. Even when I’m writing this. 

It’s been 123 days. 

Taking Risks are scary. 

Leaving your comfort zone is scary. 

Adventures are fun and educational at the same time. 

Maybe all I need is the force of an impatient person at a diving pool that will push you over when you’re extremely afraid to jump. 

And I know I have a lot of ‘but’s. 

But = Risk Averse


I’m not a natural big shot person

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth; ” 

When I was 15, I never knew how this poem will affect me in later years when I had to decide on ‘grown-up matters’. 

Life is much more easier when you were younger. 

I guess when I was younger, to feel content with a decision was always about fulfilling my loved ones’ views and thoughts on a matter. It’s not like they’ve always tell me what to do but I always show that even though I cried everyweek in the begining before going back to uni, I did succeed and not fail miserably. 

Now the question is…IS IT WORTH IT? 

My parents are okay with my decision. And as per usual, me being me, I will ask for opinions from 1001 people for the right move. 

And as expected, people gave me mixed views. “You’ll be underpaid”, “will do nothing for you in the future”, “why not? It’s only for 3 months” and the usual “why can’t you decide?”.

Anyway, I have decided that I will go for the 9-5 temporary job. 

Will I learn loads? I don’t know.

But I really hope that the people around me especially my loved ones to respect this. 

I don’t want to listen to ” I told you to think it over” anymore if I start whining in the middle. 

I did think it over. But mistakes happen and I loathe myself when I slipped. If it’s not a mistake, then alhamdulillah. I’m a just a spoiled brat. 

Maybe I’m one of those people whose inclined towards the longer path. 

I hope this path has it worth. 


There’s a cool spot on this tropical land! 

the four of us decided to drive an extra mile to Cameron Highland to cool off our heads 😎

After hanging out at Aisyah’s aqiqah (my little night owl baby niece) and surprised to see my reflections in her jet black eyes whilst poking every chubby parts of her body, having a cup of tea was the best option than going back home. 

 But  tea  said : nope, child. You can’t exploit me today. I shall revive meself today! 

So…. Here we are roaming around the endless dunes (errr maybe fields) of tea plantations with our phones like a proper tourist 👍🏻 

Until we discovered where Radagast the Brown lives!  

It’s actually in the Mossy Forest! Hihi kidding 


I hope the trees will excuse my inapropriate attire, but ad hoc trips make the best memories. 

Re-live, Re-visit

Ignite again the spirit that you grew up with
The spirit that you left dead on the floor with the tears of defeat
Shed off the sense of self-reserve
That you felt has kept you safe for years
I need that laugh
But not too often
I need to re-visit why I laughed when I was a kid
I need to stop being so distant
I need to re-live the life I had when I was 13
I need to be feel brave, happy and content again
Stop being so afraid
Because today I remembered why I laughed when I was a kid.

I know. Very melodramatic.

But I am happy today. And that’s great news.


Dear little budding tree, don’t you wither

by the pull and push of naughty hands.

For inside you a strong root is seeping through the soil beneath

Cleanching for life.

There are days when you will be pleased with the gentleness of the sun

and there are days when the sky decided to test you with a great pour.

Remember oh Remember,

Not always the sun is your friend

for its glazing hot may suck the life out of you.

That is when you know you need the drizzle from the sky.

You are a free creature made from the hands of The One

who tought you to embrace the beauty of this world.

He’ll gave you rain, sun and the worst of both.

Yes, you may cry and ask thousands of reasons to sooth your soul.

You may choose to end your life also.

But by choosing the later,

You will never taste His love for you.

Even though the harshness of the sun, sky and the earth eats you alive,

What He brings into your soul is much more greater than you will ever know. 

So you will love this journey of life that is granted upon you. 



2013/2014 season through the lense of a football fan

I started watching football or taking any kind of sports competition seriously when I was 13.

I do not know what intrigued me to do so, and I still wonder why.

I watch different kind of sports and I also persuaded my parents to enroll me into football and go kart classes. Unfortunately, my parents decided that it was better for me to just focus on my studies.

I remember how jealous I am when I watched my younger brother trained with the other Arsenal Football Academy kids with the Arsenal crest on their shirts.

I started supporting Manchester United during the early years. It was mainly due to the fact that my older siblings is a huge Man Utd fan and I was always fascinated by how my older brother talked about football and how high pitched the screaming was when a player nearly or scored a goal. My older sister on the other hand, own every other MUFC merchandise.

However, they never really watched a Man Utd match at home. They usually watch at a mamak stall with their friends.

So, I had to fight the TV remote with my younger brother and he’s an Arsenal fan.

Arsenal wasn’t really a star studded team apart from the Invincibles Team. Man Utd had every world star player such as Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes (during that season), the glorified ‘”Class of ’92”.

Basically, I watched a lot more Arsenal matches than Man Utd matches.

And that is how I became to be an Arsenal fan since I was 16. WHY? maybe because the majority of the players are the same age as mine, they have the spirit that burns like any other youth. They are trying to strive and develop themselves and the team as well as being young adults who are able to make the right decision. And they certainly do learn from their mistakes whilst growing up. And who the hell doesn’t find Arsene Wenger adorable?? haha

Now, let’s get back to the 2013/2014 Season.

first half of the season – The Gunners are on top of the table

end of the season – Finished fourth.

But! we won the 2013/2014 FA Cup 😀 Me and my younger brother told Mama and Ayah to cancel what plans they had on that Saturday, and lost my voice after watching that game.

It was nice seeing that relief expression from the father figure of The Gunners, Arsene Wenger.


UEFA Champions League matches were nerve wrecking too. Placed in ‘The Group of Death” with Borussia Dortmund (My fav in the Bundesliga), Napoli, and Marseille. Finished second in the the table after Borussia Dortmund, defeated by Bayern Munich in the Round of 16 stage.  But we defeated Premier League winner, Manchester City to win the Charity Shield.

The 2014 World Cup in Brazil

Been rooting for Germany since I started watching the World Cup in Germany.

Germany did always secured a 3rd place in all previous international competitions.

International competitions and Miroslave Klose always reminded me of Fatin R 🙂 We were always talking about football during the 2006 World Cup. And her favourite player is Miroslave Klose.

Klose, as usual is always amazing. This year, Joachim Loew positioned him as the ‘supersub’ as well as the new young player for Chelsea FC , Andre Schurrle and Klose never seemed to dissapoint us. Just a bit sad because one of Borussia Dortmund’s star player which always amazes me, Marco Reus took up an injury during a friendly with Romania just a few days before going to Brazil. Nevertheless, the whole team did an excellent, marvellous job during the world cup!

There were a lot of young players for Germany and also other countries which is exciting because it does prove whether they are actually well diverse players or the club that they’re playing in are good. But, i don’t know, they’re just human and sometimes they’re very good and sometimes they’re just too anxious.

And Germany won the 2014 World Cup! Also, the creation of the Neuer button on the playstation controller ;p

Not only I enjoyed watching Germany playing but also other countries such as Mexico (awesome goalkeeper – Ochoa), Chile, Columbia (James Rodgriguez receiving the World Cup Golden Boot), Costa Rica (Arsenal-own Joel Campbell), Iran, Algeria (very defensive gameplay).

All in all, it’s an exciting year! (football wise)


Those Days are Not Gone

We create those moments again each year 🙂

I know that 70% of posts in this blog is about my endless love towards my family and friends. 

They just mean a lot to me. Friends that I’ve known all along and grew up with.

Even though each and every one of us lead our own paths in order to achieve our respective dreams, my heart calls for their company.

Today is one of the days we get together, eat good food and just talk, smile, laugh and embrace each other after months of not seeing each other.



We met at this cool, hipstery  (or hipster-esque?) cafe called The Sumbs in Shah Alam after Maghrib.

As per usual, Miezah picked me up at the KTM station since I can’t drive meself a car because I don’t own a driving license because I’m just enjoying my semester break too much but I really wish that one day I found my own driving license with my name and all that stuff written on it under my pillow given by a driving license fairy when I was deeply asleep. 

Not gonna happen

It was only the 9 of us tonight. Fatin N, Farhana and Adibah couldn’t make it which is so saaaaad because I miss them a lot!

Actually, I think Adibah wasn’t even aware of this gathering.

Funny story to be told: We all thought that the number we invited to our whatsapp group was actually Adibah. But, the “Adibah” was so weird! And she also changed the group name into something really weird. And no one really replied to her . It like everyone was like “emmmm….errrr” Haha.

It happened that the believed Adibah was a fake. So Amni kicked out this fake Adibah out of our ‘elite’ whatsapp group.

Patotlah pelik semacam. 

Next time! the other mak ciks must be present because once the semester commenced, it’s impossibruuuuuuu to see everyone. 






‘I Do Not Wish For You To See Gaza As Anything But a Rose’


Gaza-based writer Hedaya Shamun writes — although her writing rituals have disappeared — about the world she sees around her in the first and second nights of “Operation Protective Edge.” Translation by Ghada Mourad and Tyson Patros:

By Hedaya Shamun

Gaza's embargoed roses. From the Palstreet blog: http://palstreet.blogspot.com/2009/12/blog-post_19.html Gaza’s embargoed roses. From the Palstreet blog: http://palstreet.blogspot.com/2009/12/blog-post_19.html

All the writing rituals escaped. I possess nothing except a lead pencil and a piece of white paper, even though I am wary of the word lead. I want a pencil of life because life is now so dear in Gaza, and there were so many who insisted on plucking it like a flower whose infanticide they hastened. Especially those small flowers because they are beautiful; the hands snatch them and do not let them live. Our children became flowers stripped of their leaves, colors, and nectar. I feel anguish.

All the rituals of writing escaped after the soul slipped out of the body…

View original post 1,843 more words

Sad news, Hard to swallow

Last night, before I went to bed, my brother informed me about the MH17 plane crash in Ukraine. Me, like any other Malaysians out there was really shocked and unconvinced with the devastating news after what happened to the tragedy of the MH370 still missing plane.

The news is real. Our airline plane from Amsterdam to KL which supposedly arrived at KLIA was reportedly shot down by a missile. MISSILE.

Shot by whom? that it is still unknown. Everything seems to be very complicated and vague as the location of the plane crash is a war zone.

The most saddening part is no one survived that tragedy. May Allah ease everything especially the families of the victims.

It’s just unbelievable with what happening in Palastine, Syria. Everyday, we have to witnessed horrible images of children, women, teenagers, soldiers being killed mercilessly. And you wonder when will all of this stop, when will humanity learn to live peacefully beside each other regardless of beliefs, race.

It may end. Allah knows that.

Maybe endless praying and hope might be the best I can do, not to make anything more worse. 

 الذين اذا اصابتهم مصيبة قالوا انا لله وانا اليه راجعون “Who, when a misfortune overtakes them, say: ‘Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return’.” – Al Baqarah verse 156

These are testing times indeed and May Allah ease our way.